The Importance of Open Communication

Open communication means taking the time to listen, explaining facts in simple and honest ways, and clearly expressing your thoughts and feelings. Families that communicate openly listen and talk with one another. The lines of communication need to go both directions.

Open communication can help make life changes easier for a child. It can help children understand that behaviors go along with thoughts and feelings. For example, if you're upset with something your grandchild has done, explaining why will help him recognize what made Grandma or Grandpa angry and it will help him to change his behavior.

In many situations, open communication between grandparents, parents, and children is not possible. Sometimes no one may know where the parent is living. Or, for legal reasons, the parent may not be allowed to see the child. Relationships may have a lot of problems. When there are two parents and two sets of grandparents, open communication may be more difficult.

Open communication between you and your grandchild is essential. If possible, talk honestly and openly with your grandchildren in a way that they will understand. Having someone they trust to talk with--and get answers from--helps children feel safe and understood. Open communication is important for a positive relationship.

Although it may be out of your control, having your grandchild stay in touch with his or her parent can be helpful. Staying in touch on a regular basis with their parents can be reassuring and comforting to your grandchildren. Not knowing when or if they will hear from their parents is very hard for children.

After talking with a parent, either in person or on the phone, children may seem upset. They may feel confused. In most cases, being upset doesn't mean children shouldn't talk to their parents, Instead, make sure you take time to help them "debrief" and to express their feelings.

Credits

Authors

Julie Poehlmann, Ph. D.

Assistant Professor

Human Development and Family

Studies

Waisman Center

University of Wisconsin-Madison

Mary Brintnall-Peterson, Ph. D.

Professor, Family Living Programs

University of Wisconsin–Extension

Rebecca Shlafer

Research Intern

Human Development and Family

Studies

University of Wisconsin-Madison

Kari Morgan, Ph. D.

Former Program Specialist

Family Living Programs

University of Wisconsin Extension