Importance of Attachment

Whether your grandchildren have been with you for a long or short time, you can have a strong influence on how they relate to others.

Children's relationships with parents and grandparents are very important to healthy development. Positive relationships are an important part of every child's development. 
Attachments are relationships that children form with the most special and trustworthy people in their lives. Although these relationships usually begin between infants and their parents at birth, attachments can form when children are older, too. The most common attachment is between mother and baby. However, the child could form an attachment with any person (including grandparents, aunts and uncles, older sibling, or baby sitter) if the right type of care is given. By the time babies are 18 months old, they usually have formed attachment relationships with a few special people. In many families, these people are grandparents who are raising their grandchildren. 

In addition to getting their basic needs met, children look for comfort, love, safety, and protection through their attachment relationships. Children are born ready to form a trusting attachment with a caregiver. However, the quality of the relationship that develops depends on how the child is treated.

·         When adults treat children in positive and dependable ways, children develop healthy attachments.

·         When adults treat children in negative ways, such as failing to protect them, not responding to their needs, or hurting them, children develop insecure attachments.

These early attachment relationships are important for a child's social and emotional development. Having an adult in their lives who gives them emotional and physical support helps the child develop a sense of security, comfort, and confidence. If there is no adult whom the child can count on, he or she may grow up not trusting in others.

From: "The Importance of Close Relationships, Grandparents Raising Grandchildren, University of Wisconsin Extension

Authors

Julie Poehlmann, Ph. D.Assistant Professor Human Development and Family Studies, Waisman Center, University of Wisconsin-Madison

Mary Brintnall-Peterson, Ph. D. Professor, Family Living Programs, University of Wisconsin–Extension

Rebecca Shlafer Research InternHuman Development and Family Studies, University of Wisconsin-Madison

Kari Morgan, Ph. D Former Program Specialist Family Living Programs, University of Wisconsin Extension