The relationship between you and your grandchild

The new relationship between you and your grandchild can be difficult.  You are not the parent, and you may not feel like a grandparent either. Both you and your grandchild may have to make an effort to understand new and different roles and rules for your relationship. The relationship each of you has with the child's parents may complicate the situation, and may require a lot of work and patience.

In some cases, the situation may cause you to think about the relationships you had with your own children.  Sometimes it is hard to think back on the kind of a parent you were. You may even feel guilty or blame yourself for your grandchild's situation and worry about repeating the same mistakes. Taking care of your grandchildren may seem like too much for you to handle.  One thing that may help is to talk with someone about how you are feeling and what you can do to help your grandchild in new ways. Many grandparents say that talking to other grandparents about how they are managing can be helpful. Sometimes, parenting happens on a day-by-day basis fixing the problems as they come. Coming to grips with the past will help you and your grandchild move into the future.

From University of Wisconsin Cooperative Extension