Do You Feel Invisible?

Do you often feel that you're invisible to your grandkids?After spending a day cajoling, reasoning, threatening and even screaming in an attempt to get your kids to behave, you may feel as if they never listen to you, much less respond. But all that talking is precisely the problem. If you feel like you're invisible, you're probably way too audible. When it comes to discipline, silence often speaks louder than words.

Many parents complicate the job of discipline by setting for themselves two goals instead of just one. Their first goal is to get the kids to do what they're supposed to do, which is fine. But when kids don't respond right away, many parents add a second goal: getting the youngsters to accept, agree with, or even like the discipline. Thus the reasoning, lecturing and explaining begin.

All this extra talk accomplishes only two things--both of them bad. First, it aggravates the kids, and second, it says to the children that they really don't have to behave unless you give them four or five reasons why they should.

One explanation is fine. The mistake is trying to reason with them as if they are "little adults," and too often adult logic does not impress or motivate young children. Once you say "No" to an obnoxious behavior, you should save your breath. Further pleading will irritate you more and give the child a chance to continue the battle--and the behavior.

Source: 1-2-3 Magic Newsletter, April 2012