Building Strong Families - Good Communication

Good family communication opens the doors to healthy relationships. However, genuine communication is not always easy. It takes heartfelt commitment and effort by everyone in the family. Below are a few characteristics of good family communication.

Be a good listener

Being a good listener means giving a person your undivided attention without interruptions. It means stopping and thinking before judging or reacting.
Jumping to conclusions can occur when we fail to listen to what another person is saying—we hear what we want to hear instead of what is actually said. To avoid this barrier, you need to make a commitment to listen, understand, and hold off on making a quick judgment.

Use kind words

Nothing destroys communication faster than the use of unkind words. When you use unkind words, people tend not to listen to you. They close up and are less likely to share their true feelings. Avoid words that ridicule, shame, and discourage family members. By focusing on the positive traits of each family member, you help create a climate of mutual love, respect, and good communication.

Take the other's perspective

When you communicate with your grandchildren, it's important to recognize and express your understanding of their feelings. When we only listen to a child's words we may miss the meaning of what is actually said. For example, a child's "I don't care," may mean "I'm frustrated, angry or sad." The key to understanding what the other person feels is to acknowledge his or her feelings. You might say, "You really seem upset," or "Your pain must be awful." When someone takes the time to understand our feelings, it can help us to feel loved and safe.
Developing the knowledge and skills required to have strong relationships takes practice and commitment. It's certainly not an easy task. But, be assured that the benefits outweigh all the hard work that is needed. The ways you guide and interact with your family will make a lasting impact on your grandchildren.


Source:  IFAS Extension, The University of Florida