The demanding part of the parenting/grandparenting equation implies not only that parents ask more of their kids, but also that parents ask more of themselves. We often follow the misguided belief that self-esteem and creativity are both higher when children can "do their own thing" and when they are not exposed to external limits imposed by adults.
On the contrary, kids feel better about themselves and perform better, creatively and otherwise, when they learn the boundaries for reasonable behavior. The world has all kinds of limits and rules, and parents are the ones who introduce children to life's boundaries. How parents establish rules and set limits--or fail to set limits--has a tremendous effect on the self-esteem of a child. Your kids may not like all the rules and regulations you must teach them, but if they don't recognize and work within these constraints, they will get hurt badly.
However, not all self-esteem building strategies involve unpleasant or hard work. One of the best "tactics" for encouraging healthy self-respect in children is fun. We need to take time with our kids. Keep in mind that one-on-one time having fun together is one of the most potent self-esteem builders. that's one parent/grandparent with one child. Kids really like having a parent all to themselves.
Source: 1-2-3 Magic Newsletter, February 2012
No comments:
Post a Comment