Dealing with Separation Anxiety

Helping children with separation anxiety disorder

You can help your child combat separation anxiety disorder by taking steps to make him or her feel safer. Providing a sympathetic environment at home can make your child feel more comfortable, and making changes at school may help reduce your child’s symptoms. Even if your efforts don’t completely solve the problem, your empathy can only make things better.

Tips for dealing with separation anxiety in children

The following tips can help you create a stable and supportive environment for your child.

• Educate yourself about separation anxiety disorder. If you learn about how your child experiences this disorder, you can more easily sympathize with his or her struggles.
• Listen to and respect your child’s feelings. For a child who might already feel isolated by his or her disorder, the experience of being listened to can have a powerful healing effect.
• Talk about the issue. It’s healthier for children to talk about their feelings—they don’t benefit from “not thinking about it.” Be empathetic, but also remind the child—gently—that he or she survived the last separation.
• Anticipate separation difficulty. Be ready for transition points that can cause anxiety for your child, such as going to school or meeting with friends to play. If your child separates from one parent more easily than the other, have that parent handle the drop off.

Tips for helping children with separation anxiety feel safe and secure

• Provide a consistent pattern for the day. Don’t underestimate the importance of predictability for children with separation anxiety problems. If your family’s schedule is going to change, discuss it ahead of time with your child.
• Set limits. Let your child know that although you understand his or her feelings, there are rules in your household that need to be followed.
• Offer choices. If your child is given a choice or some element of control in an activity or interaction with an adult, he or she may feel more safe and comfortable.

Tips for encouraging healthy separation and independence in children

• Keep calm during separation. If your child sees that you can stay cool, he or she is more likely to be calm, too.
• Support the child's participation in activities. Encourage your child to participate in healthy social and physical activities.
• Help a child who has been absent from school return as quickly as possible. Even if a shorter school day is necessary initially, children's symptoms are more likely to decrease when they discover that they can survive the separation.
• Praise your child’s efforts. Use the smallest of accomplishments—going to bed without a fuss, a good report from school—as reason to give your child positive reinforcement. 

From HelpGuide.org - a trusted non-profit