The internet provides much information and support for grandparents who are raising their grandchildren. Below are a few sites that you may want to check out:
AARP Grandparent Information Center provides a wide variety of
resources for grandparents, as well as technical support materials to
community-based groups and service agencies working with grandparents:
www.aarp.org/families/grandparents
American Bar Association’s Center for Children and Law can
provide answers to legal aspects of raising grandchildren: www.abanet.org/child/home.html
The American Self-Help Clearinghouse is a nationwide computerized
database that offers tips on how to start your own grandparent self-help
group, and a listing of local self-help clearinghouses in your area: www.selfhelpgroups.org
Colorado Legal Services provides legal advise on raising grandchildren,
including taxes and health care: www.coloradolegalservices.org/CO/index.cfm
Colorado Office of Resource and Referral Agencies, Inc., provides
a comprehensive source to aid in the search for child-care: www.corra.org
Creative Grandparenting has a mission to connect the generations:
www.creativegrandparenting.org
The Foundation for Grandparenting has innovative ideas for grandparents
as parents and a large selection of books: www.grandparenting.org
Grandparents as Parents helps individuals network with other grandparents:
http://home1.gte.net/res02wo7
Grandparent Foundation is involved in education, research, programming,
and networking around grandparenting: www.grandparenting.org
Grandparents Resource Center works with grandparents and family
members to facilitate harmony and foster intergenerational relationships,
providing broader security for children in the family: http://grc4usa.org
The Grandparent Rights Organization is a grandparenting rights
advocacy group: www.grandparentsrights.org
Grandparents Who Care is an organization designed to help grandparents
with visitation problems: www.grandparentswhocare.com
National Center for Grandparents Raising Grandchildren has a mission
to improve the quality of life for intergenerational kinship care families
via education, advocacy, and the promotion of sound legislation: http://chhs.gsu.edu/nationalcenter
Social Security Benefits for Grandchildren provides advise on
social security benefits: www.ssa.gov/kids/parent5.htm
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
A Grandparent's Guide to Social Networking
You've probably heard the names - Facebook, Google, SnapChat and other social networking websites. Many of these websites have become an online craze for both teens and adults.
You've probably also heard stories about how pedophiles and other criminals are actively surfing these websites, looking for their next victim, or how people are having their identities stolen after posting too much information online. The good news is that you can protect yourself and your loved ones relatively easily if you know how.
>Talk to your grandchildren about the risks. Explain that online information and images can live forever.
>Tell your grandchildren not to post any identifying personal information online.
>Explain that anyone in the world can access what they post online.
>Remind your grandchildren never to give out their passwords to anyone, but you -- not even their friends.
>Make sure that your grandchildren understand that some people they meet online may not be who they say they are.
Source: Grandparents Raising Grandchildren of Brevard County Florida, Inc.
You've probably also heard stories about how pedophiles and other criminals are actively surfing these websites, looking for their next victim, or how people are having their identities stolen after posting too much information online. The good news is that you can protect yourself and your loved ones relatively easily if you know how.>Talk to your grandchildren about the risks. Explain that online information and images can live forever.
>Tell your grandchildren not to post any identifying personal information online.
>Explain that anyone in the world can access what they post online.
>Remind your grandchildren never to give out their passwords to anyone, but you -- not even their friends.
>Make sure that your grandchildren understand that some people they meet online may not be who they say they are.
Source: Grandparents Raising Grandchildren of Brevard County Florida, Inc.
Monday, June 10, 2013
Kids Need Boundaries
The demanding part of the parenting/grandparenting equation implies not only that parents ask more of their kids, but also that parents ask more of themselves. We often follow the misguided belief that self-esteem and creativity are both higher when children can "do their own thing" and when they are not exposed to external limits imposed by adults.
On the contrary, kids feel better about themselves and perform better, creatively and otherwise, when they learn the boundaries for reasonable behavior. The world has all kinds of limits and rules, and parents are the ones who introduce children to life's boundaries. How parents establish rules and set limits--or fail to set limits--has a tremendous effect on the self-esteem of a child. Your kids may not like all the rules and regulations you must teach them, but if they don't recognize and work within these constraints, they will get hurt badly.
However, not all self-esteem building strategies involve unpleasant or hard work. One of the best "tactics" for encouraging healthy self-respect in children is fun. We need to take time with our kids. Keep in mind that one-on-one time having fun together is one of the most potent self-esteem builders. that's one parent/grandparent with one child. Kids really like having a parent all to themselves.
Source: 1-2-3 Magic Newsletter, February 2012
On the contrary, kids feel better about themselves and perform better, creatively and otherwise, when they learn the boundaries for reasonable behavior. The world has all kinds of limits and rules, and parents are the ones who introduce children to life's boundaries. How parents establish rules and set limits--or fail to set limits--has a tremendous effect on the self-esteem of a child. Your kids may not like all the rules and regulations you must teach them, but if they don't recognize and work within these constraints, they will get hurt badly.
However, not all self-esteem building strategies involve unpleasant or hard work. One of the best "tactics" for encouraging healthy self-respect in children is fun. We need to take time with our kids. Keep in mind that one-on-one time having fun together is one of the most potent self-esteem builders. that's one parent/grandparent with one child. Kids really like having a parent all to themselves.
Source: 1-2-3 Magic Newsletter, February 2012
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Your Grandchild's Self-Esteem: Are You Helping or Hurting?
What does it take to raise competent, good-natured children who can feel a healthy respect for themselves? Research has shown over and over that good parenting involves two basic components. One will not surprise you, but the other one may catch you off guard.
We are very aware today that children are born with different personalities and temperaments that are not created by their parents. Nevertheless, parents (and caretakers) do make a difference, and here in the United States we need to get back on track regarding what children's self-esteem is really about.
What are the two parenting ingredients that make for good self-esteem? First, good parents are warm and sensitive to a child's needs. They understand their child's positive as well as negative feelings. They are comforting in times of crisis and pain, as well as appreciative in times of triumph and accomplishment. They are supportive of a child's individuality and encourage his or her growing independence.
That's no big news flash.
What we often overlook, though, is that good parents are also demanding. They clearly communicate high--but not unrealistic--expectations for their children's behavior. Good behavior and achievements are appreciated and reinforced when they occur. When the kids act up, on the other hand, Mom and Dad respond with firm limits, but not with fits of temper or righteous indignation. After a child makes a mistake, the parents' message is, "I'm sure you'll do better next time."
Parents who child-rearing philosophy involves both warmth and "demandingness" tend to produce competent children. There are of course no guarantees, but their kids will have a better chance of becoming more self-reliant, self-controlled and happier. They will have a better chance of being accepted and well liked by their peers, and of having a sense of belonging.
Sometimes, though, parents have blinders on. We're so busy, we don't have time--or take the time--to do some of the things that will really foster self-esteem. Such as what? Such as helping our children develop social skills and academic and physical competence. Your kids' self-esteem is ultimately going to be earned or not earned in the real world--not in a fantasy world.
Source: 1-2-3 Magic Newsletter, February 2012
We are very aware today that children are born with different personalities and temperaments that are not created by their parents. Nevertheless, parents (and caretakers) do make a difference, and here in the United States we need to get back on track regarding what children's self-esteem is really about.
What are the two parenting ingredients that make for good self-esteem? First, good parents are warm and sensitive to a child's needs. They understand their child's positive as well as negative feelings. They are comforting in times of crisis and pain, as well as appreciative in times of triumph and accomplishment. They are supportive of a child's individuality and encourage his or her growing independence.
That's no big news flash.
What we often overlook, though, is that good parents are also demanding. They clearly communicate high--but not unrealistic--expectations for their children's behavior. Good behavior and achievements are appreciated and reinforced when they occur. When the kids act up, on the other hand, Mom and Dad respond with firm limits, but not with fits of temper or righteous indignation. After a child makes a mistake, the parents' message is, "I'm sure you'll do better next time."
Parents who child-rearing philosophy involves both warmth and "demandingness" tend to produce competent children. There are of course no guarantees, but their kids will have a better chance of becoming more self-reliant, self-controlled and happier. They will have a better chance of being accepted and well liked by their peers, and of having a sense of belonging.
Sometimes, though, parents have blinders on. We're so busy, we don't have time--or take the time--to do some of the things that will really foster self-esteem. Such as what? Such as helping our children develop social skills and academic and physical competence. Your kids' self-esteem is ultimately going to be earned or not earned in the real world--not in a fantasy world.
Source: 1-2-3 Magic Newsletter, February 2012
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Avoid the Talk-Persuade-Argue-Yell-Hit Syndrome
Dr. Thomas W. Phelan has good advice for caretakers of children, whether you are the parent or grandparent in his newsletter article:
Many adults enter parenthood with visions of "picture perfect" children. They imagine a warm and loving home, as well as respectful and polite kids, all eagerly doing whatever is asked with only an occasional explanation from Mom or Dad.
As a veteran parent, you know this is not reality. But many parents have the idea that kids are just smaller versions of adults: reasonable and unselfish. This is the "Little Adult Assumption." Moms and Dads who embrace this myth often prefer the "modern method" of discipline—talking and reasoning. Unfortunately, many times words and reasons alone prove unsuccessful. Sometimes they have no impact at all, and then parent and child fall into the trap known as the Talk-Persuade-Argue-Yell-Hit Syndrome.
This tragic sequence results from the very best of parental intentions. Your child is doing something you don't like. You tell her to stop. She continues her misbehavior, so you try persuading her to see things your way. When persuasion fails, you start arguing. When arguing is not successful, you yell. Yelling fails, so—feeling there is nothing left to do—some parents turn to hitting. The two biggest parenting mistakes—too much talking and too much emotion—trigger the Talk-Persuade-Argue-Yell-Hit Syndrome.
Changing children's behavior often begins by changing parents' expectations of their children. Trying to teach young children appropriate behavior is actually closer to training than it is to teaching "little adults." This means choosing a method and repeating it consistently until the "trainee" does what the trainer wants. Very little of the training involves extensive verbal explanations. Most important, the trainer remains calm, patient and gentle, but also persistent and firm. Keep in mind, children need consistency and repetition in a warm and loving environment.
Source: 1-2-3Magic.com, The 1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter, May 2013
Many adults enter parenthood with visions of "picture perfect" children. They imagine a warm and loving home, as well as respectful and polite kids, all eagerly doing whatever is asked with only an occasional explanation from Mom or Dad.
As a veteran parent, you know this is not reality. But many parents have the idea that kids are just smaller versions of adults: reasonable and unselfish. This is the "Little Adult Assumption." Moms and Dads who embrace this myth often prefer the "modern method" of discipline—talking and reasoning. Unfortunately, many times words and reasons alone prove unsuccessful. Sometimes they have no impact at all, and then parent and child fall into the trap known as the Talk-Persuade-Argue-Yell-Hit Syndrome.
This tragic sequence results from the very best of parental intentions. Your child is doing something you don't like. You tell her to stop. She continues her misbehavior, so you try persuading her to see things your way. When persuasion fails, you start arguing. When arguing is not successful, you yell. Yelling fails, so—feeling there is nothing left to do—some parents turn to hitting. The two biggest parenting mistakes—too much talking and too much emotion—trigger the Talk-Persuade-Argue-Yell-Hit Syndrome.
Changing Kids’ Behavior Begins By Changing Your Expectations
If you have a child who is doing something you don't like, get real upset about it on a regular basis and sure enough he'll repeat it for you. Too much yelling and too much anger on the part of a parent are destructive for several reasons. First, they move the focus off of the child's misbehavior and on to the parent's own outburst. Second, many children take the emotional eruption of a parent as a challenge to a fight, and there are plenty of kids who love a good fight. Third, parents who over explain and give three, four or five reasons to a child to encourage right behavior are almost saying "You really don't have to behave unless I can give a number of good arguments as to why you should." This is not discipline, it is begging, and the shrewd enough child will simply take issue with the parent's reasons.Changing children's behavior often begins by changing parents' expectations of their children. Trying to teach young children appropriate behavior is actually closer to training than it is to teaching "little adults." This means choosing a method and repeating it consistently until the "trainee" does what the trainer wants. Very little of the training involves extensive verbal explanations. Most important, the trainer remains calm, patient and gentle, but also persistent and firm. Keep in mind, children need consistency and repetition in a warm and loving environment.
Source: 1-2-3Magic.com, The 1-2-3 Magic Parenting Newsletter, May 2013
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Telling Stories to Your Grandchild
Webster defines a story as, “A narrative, in prose or verse, designed to interest, amuse or instruct the listener.”
How many times as a child did you beg a parent or grandparent to “tell me a story.” And yet, the art of storytelling seems to be a dying one.
These days our grandchildren are more apt to say, “read me a story.” And believe me, I am a great advocate of reading to children. However, watch a child’s face if you offer to tell a story instead. An excitement sparks their eyes and a kind of magic spell settles over the scene.
“But,” you may say, “I don’t know any stories. Where can I get them?” For the sake of simplicity, let us try to confine the origins of stories to three categories:
Another time-proven technique is to make your grandchild or grandchildren the focus of the story. Kids love to hear stories about themselves. Even if the story is not directly about the child, the child will recognize this. And if all else fails, you can always simply recount stories of when the child was a tiny baby. Most kids love that stuff.
So put on your thinking cap, brush out the cobwebs from your belfry and become a real, live storyteller.
And remember, if your grandchildren don’t live close enough to sit on your knee, the tape recorder is a wonderful tool for sharing stories long distance.
This article is reprinted with permission from “Grandparents’ Little Dividends News,” the newsletter of the Grandparents’ Little Dividends Club.
How many times as a child did you beg a parent or grandparent to “tell me a story.” And yet, the art of storytelling seems to be a dying one.
These days our grandchildren are more apt to say, “read me a story.” And believe me, I am a great advocate of reading to children. However, watch a child’s face if you offer to tell a story instead. An excitement sparks their eyes and a kind of magic spell settles over the scene.
“But,” you may say, “I don’t know any stories. Where can I get them?” For the sake of simplicity, let us try to confine the origins of stories to three categories:
- Handed-down tales which would include folklore, ethnic lore, parables, and fables (such as Aesop’s) told to generation after generation.
- Personal experience. These kind of stories usually start with, “When I was a little boy/girl, a funny thing happened,” etc. They can include war or adventure stories that happened to you personally, showing how things were in “olden” days.
- Make believe. Children eat up good, old-time fantasizing. Try your hand at it. Let your creativity have free rein. The results can be amazing. The sillier and more nonsensical, the better.
- What scary stories did your parents or grandparents tell you? What ghost stories did you read as a child that you can now recall well enough to tell your grandchildren? Some that come to mind are “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow,” “Blackbeard’s Ghost,” and one of my personal favorites, the old campfire ghost story, “Things That Go Bump in the Night.”
- Did you ever explore a haunted house as a child? Do you have any spooky or funny memories from your own trick-or-treat past? Do you have any superstitions involving broken mirrors or walking under ladders that you could relate?
- Get the old creative juices flowing. But remember to temper the tale according to the age of the child. No need to go into blood, violence and terror here. A delicious shiver up the spine will work just fine.
Another time-proven technique is to make your grandchild or grandchildren the focus of the story. Kids love to hear stories about themselves. Even if the story is not directly about the child, the child will recognize this. And if all else fails, you can always simply recount stories of when the child was a tiny baby. Most kids love that stuff.
So put on your thinking cap, brush out the cobwebs from your belfry and become a real, live storyteller.
And remember, if your grandchildren don’t live close enough to sit on your knee, the tape recorder is a wonderful tool for sharing stories long distance.
This article is reprinted with permission from “Grandparents’ Little Dividends News,” the newsletter of the Grandparents’ Little Dividends Club.
Monday, June 3, 2013
Fun Learning Activities for You and Your Grandchildren
Have you ever heard, "I'm bored!" from your grandchildren? What can you do with your grandchildren that will keep them entertained and learning at the same time? Watching television and playing video games are easy distractions, but not the best solutions for boredom. What children want more than anything else is time with you. There are plenty of things to do that are entertaining, teach important skills, and give you and your grandchildren a chance to spend some fun time together.
When you spend time having fun with your grandchildren, you do more than just take care of boredom. If you are actively involved in their learning at home, your grandchildren are more likely to become successful learners both in and out of school. The earlier you begin working with your grandchildren, the more responsive they will be to learning.
For more information and some inexpensive ideas for fun and learning follow this link:
http://www.fcs.uga.edu/ext/pubs/chfd/CHFD-E-59-12.pdf
There are many different ways to keep you and your grandchildren busy and learning all year round. Carve out time to do fun activities together. Remember that fun doesn't have to be expensive--spending time together is the best think you can do for your grandchildren.
Source: Grandparents Raising Grandchildren, The Cooperative Extension, The University of Georgia
When you spend time having fun with your grandchildren, you do more than just take care of boredom. If you are actively involved in their learning at home, your grandchildren are more likely to become successful learners both in and out of school. The earlier you begin working with your grandchildren, the more responsive they will be to learning.
For more information and some inexpensive ideas for fun and learning follow this link:
http://www.fcs.uga.edu/ext/pubs/chfd/CHFD-E-59-12.pdf
There are many different ways to keep you and your grandchildren busy and learning all year round. Carve out time to do fun activities together. Remember that fun doesn't have to be expensive--spending time together is the best think you can do for your grandchildren.
Source: Grandparents Raising Grandchildren, The Cooperative Extension, The University of Georgia
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