Guidelines for Dealing with Grandchildren after Divorce
- When a couple divorces, a natural tendency of grandparents is to side
with their child against his or her spouse. The suggested guideline,
however, is to remain (at least outwardly) neutral. It is in the grandchild's
best interest to keep matters as amicable as possible.
- Do not attempt to get grandchildren to take sides in their parents'
divorce. Sometimes, one or both of the divorcing parents will attempt
to use grandparents as a weapon in the struggle for a grandchild's loyalty.
These attempts should be resisted, and dealt with in an open manner.
- Stay flexible. If a recently divorced in-law feels that weekly visits
by the former spouse's parents are too difficult to manage for the moment,
the grandparents should, in most instances, not argue. They should settle
for a different - even if less frequent - schedule. Generally, patience
will most likely pay off in a better relationship.
Source: Grandparents: As Parents , Colorado State Extension Service
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