Take Care of Yourself

Take Care of Yourself, Get a Support Group

No matter how overwhelmed you feel, take time to get your head above water and see what life preservers are available. Evelyn Phillips, of Marietta, Ga., says she was so consumed by the radical change in her daily life that she didn't ask for help soon enough after her daughter left her four children, all under the age of 5, in her care in 1982. "I felt that no one else could possibly be going through the trials and tribulations that I was going through — running an art gallery and antique shop and taking care of four babies," she says. "But, when I found an online group, all of a sudden I had adults to talk to who, unlike most of my retired friends, actually could relate." Group members helped one another through legal tangles, school dramas, and the occasional "Whatcha cooking for dinner?" quandary.

Set aside some time for yourself daily, even if it's just to take a bath, sit on your porch, play online word games, or dance around the kitchen. Find a babysitter or relative who can help out when you need more than a moment. Go for walks or swims with your grandkids to pass on healthy habits. Get regular check-ups, and be sure to notify your doctor if you feel "blue" or unreasonably exhausted. Evelyn admits this isn't easy. "You become that 'somebody' again.'Somebody' take me to the mall.'Somebody' pick me up from my Scout meeting.'Somebody' sell snacks at my game," she says. "You do it because you want the kids to do what other kids do, but you have to set limits." She and her husband kindly told the school to "cut them slack" on refreshment-stand duty and scaled back on expensive club involvement. She also found a new outlet for her creativity — she taught art to her oldest grandchild's kindergarten class after parenting demands forced her to close her art gallery.

She's also learned that her finest works of art don't need to hang in a gallery. "All my grandchildren are self-sufficient adults who are ready to take care of themselves in this world," she says. "When you've done that, you know you've succeeded."


Find a full database of support groups and services, for you and your grandkids at AARP.org/grandparents. There you'll find state fact sheets for local support groups, legal assistance, public benefits, and state laws.

From grandparents.com